Ever heard the phrase "Deafening silence"? I laughed at the oxymoron... till I heard it. It is so loud that you feel like placing the palms of your hands on your ears and say "Please God no more..."
Labeled since childhood as a talkative girl I never understood the importance of speech until recently. Ironical, isn't it? Communication is probably the lifeline of every relationship, be it among friends, lovers or family. Usually it does not receive its due importance because more often than not this aspect is always there. You haven't spoken to a friend for a few days, and you call up and say "Yo dude! Wassup?" But what happens when this call never comes? You begin to wonder.... "Why doesn't this person call? Doesn't he/she care about me any more?"
Communication - the imparting or interchange of thoughts, opinions, or information... and perhaps a lot more.... by speech, writing, or signs. In the absence of this all you are left with are memories and imagination. Sometimes it's acceptable and you can make your peace with it... but sometimes you cannot and your mind is filled with unpleasant thoughts as you drown in a pool of sorrow which probably the other end never consciously intended pushing you into.
It begins with convincing yourself that things are still the same. You look at old e-mails, letters, cards, gifts and chat transcripts, recall old conversations and tell yourself that nothing has changed. But at some point you cannot ignore it any longer, you cannot help but notice that something is missing from the relationship. Then the Devil sitting inside your mind gets to work, filling it with all kinds of strange, unpleasant, sometimes baseless thoughts, and you try hard, really hard to battle them with optimistic thoughts, pleasant memories and so on. Sometimes the latter emerges victorious and you calm down, but only for some time till the next battle is waged. Otherwise you succumb to those thoughts.... "Does this person care about me any more? Is he/she not calling because he/she doesn't like talking to me any more? Oh this must be the case... That explains why the communication gap is bothering me so much but not the other person involved...." and it continues. With every such thought you push your spirits one notch lower.
It's strange that the absence of a little thing like communication can wreak havoc in your life and the relationship you share with the other person involved. Perhaps you give that person undue importance in your life so much so that the person unknowingly begins controlling your moods, your life. Probably not a very smart idea, but nevertheless at that point all you can do is feel lost and helpless. You try talking to that person, explaining how you feel... if you are lucky then things get back to normal, if not the self inflicted torture continues....
